Mike Simons
- Normal = - Talksprite= }} - Post-Gala = - Hair down = }} }}}} ---- AG: I didn't think any of this shit was ever gonna happen Your name is MIKE SIMONS and you are currently practicing a very crappy magic trick. This magic trick is so lame that it's probably not even worth your time. I mean it's just a stupid bunny in the hat trick! You've loved magic ever since you were little, though you've never been very good at it. You loved watching your Grandpa perform tricks for you. When you were a toddler everything was so much easier, BUT EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED. Wait, what? No everything changed when your Grandpa became a BITTER DOUCHE BAG. He used to be quite fond of watching you perform little magic shows. Now when he sees you perform magic it's almost like he's dead, or you're just not even there. After this occurs, you usually just go up stairs and lock yourself up in your room. You'll just sit up there for hours, or even days, trying to figure out what you did wrong. Occasionally you'll build something, like a computer. That's something you're good at, engineering. You've made many things, you've made the TV in your house, the computer you own, and even the oven. It's something that you don't care whether or not your Grandpa is impressed by it or not. Well, now it's time to practice another crappy magic trick. You open one of your drawers to grab your CHEAP "MAGIC" WAND! You wave it around like an idiot for a while and then practice another trick. For this one you are going to need metal, any kind of metal. Luckily your room is covered in sheet metal. You one day hope to become a famous magician, using cheap wires, cables, and other things that will only cost a dime. It might be a few years, but soon it'll just be you against the world, AND YOU'LL BE DAMNED IF YOU END UP WORKING AT IKEA! So you've already bought a top hat, you can buy the entire costume when you're older, and your career as a magician has sprung. You've also shown an interest in horror movies. Your favorites being Psycho, Friday the 13th, and of course The Gingerbread man! Who can forget about The Gingerbread Man? It was the absolute best movie ever! Okay so you admit it was crap, but that's why you love it. To you it's more of a comedy. You find a lot of horror movies rather funny instead of frightening, and sometimes you like to imagine what it would be like if they were musicals. If you can't become a magician, or an engineer, then your back up is becoming a horror movie director. You've made an entire list of back ups, and at the bottom of the list...is working at IKEA. How dare this even be an option! You continue with your magic trick, but you are going to erase that vile print as soon as you master this trick. If you do wish to become at least one of these back ups other than A SOULLESS IKEA EMPLOYEE, then you are going to need to WORK HARD! Your family is all about working hard! For example, your mother, from what you know, she was a very brave woman. Being in the Air Force for almost six years. She didn't get there through sitting on her ass all day! She got there through HARD WORK! You don't really know anything about your dad other than that his first name was Phillip, and he fled to Rhode Island after something happened to him, but you think you're great grandpa might have been in the military, and he might have gotten there through HARD WORK. Another thing you find important is HONESTY. You believe that you should only LIE when NEEDED, all though you lie all the time. So, you have decided to make a list of HONEST things people have said about you. You have broken the list into two categories, "COMPLIMENTS" and "IMPERFECTIONS". You always stare at the "IMPERFECTION" category. You just stare at it and read things like, "LOW SELF-ESTEEM", "SARCASTIC", "RUDE", "INSECURE". The worst part is that you KNOW when you're acting like any of these, you know when you're sarcastic and rude, you know when the fact that you have a low self-esteem, or that you're insecure, shines through, and it angers you, it makes you upset to know that you act like this. YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW! This ENTIRE list shows that you're insecure, and that you have a low self-esteem. You speak rather normally Although you forget to add periods, only periods for some reason You also emphasize the word magic Life Before Sgrub/Sburb Mike lived a simple life in the small town of Whittemore, Michigan. He's never known much about his parents, and at a young age was put into a foster home.Although, soon after Mike was put into the foster home, his Grandpa gained custody of him. Before Mike went to live with his Grandpa, there was no father or mother figure in his life. His Grandpa filled both of these gaps in his life. Mike looked up to his Grandpa, he wanted to be just like him. The thing that interested Mike the most about his Grandpa, is that his Grandpa was a retired magician. Mike has always had a knack for magic, but he's never really pursued it. Through a bit of digging around, Mike found a bunch of VHS horror movies that his Grandpa bought back when he was younger. He watched all of them, and the last one he watched was of course, the unforgettable movie, THE GINGERBREAD MAN. There was so much he found in his Grandpa's attic. Such as a bunch of dolls and movie props. A few months after Mike started living with his Grandpa, his Grandpa became more and more bitter and rude. In Mike's preteen years, his Grandpa started to ignore him. The small magic shows Mike performed began to bring a frown instead of a smile to Grandpa's face. Mike began to lose faith in magic, he began to believe that he just wasn't cut out for it. Although he still thinks he should try, and hasn't given up yet. Entry Jack showed up. You're grandpa died and then fused with your dead mom. Then Vigil ate your grandpa's corpse, and gave you a big purple plant to look after. Well, you're off to a great start. Seriously though, you're fucked. Post-Entry When you entered you kinda had a break down. I mean, you're trapped in Ikea; who wouldn't have a break down when they're trapped in Ikea? You've taken good care of the plant that Vigil gave you; you even named the little fucker. You named her Carl. Carl has grown on you, and you now see her as more of a daughter. I mean, sure she tries to bite you from time to time, but carnivorous plants will be carnivorous plants. You also told Lila a few things you didn't mean, and for a moment you thought you also had feelings for Kyle. You had a few small conversations with Nyarla, but nothing too important. You're relationship with Kyle has been strained, you blame it on yourself. The most trouble that has happened here on LOMAM so far are personal, relationship, and emotional troubles. Oh, and Carl. There's no other way to say this. I hate you. In fact, if I had a physical body I would murder you. You somehow managed to lose CARL a FUCKING PLANT. I hope you die. I want you dead. Oh, and your sitting on a GIANT FUCKING BOMB! The odds are NOT in your favor. The odds have BITCH-SLAPPED you and jabbed NUMEROUS KNIVES VARYING IN SIZE AND SHAPE into your chest, neck, and other parts of your body. As a small note, everyone still hates you. Scarlet kidnapped you and is now having you fight CARL, who now has giant weird tentacle-vine-things and can move on his own. Do you remember how I said the odds had bitch-slapped you and stabbed you with numerous knives? Well, it appears that the odds just dropped a nuclear warhead on you and everyone you love. You are currently on DERSE in SCARLET'S TOMB. Land of Möbler and Marble This planet is awful. It's vile. It's cheap. It's Swedish. It's a store. It's Ikea. Well...fuck. Theme: IKEA-Jonathon Coulton Relationships Humans: Lila Cenero You've had a brief conversation with LILA CENERO. You contacted her out of nowhere, but you soon realized that she too was contacted by ARCH RYBALT. You then had a small talk about the game, but she soon changed the subject. So far she seems to be the LEAST interested in the GAME. She claims to be a SEER OF TIME, a really accurate fortune teller to put it simply. She read your fortune and said that you'll make it through the game perfectly fine, although you have a hard time believing this. Kyle Carter KYLE CARTER is a close friend, and you two often talk about CONSPIRACIES. You two also tend to talk about horror movies and comic books, but most of the time you just listen to Kyle ramble on about aliens and the occasional "The end is nigh" kinda stuff. Sometimes the conversation will be about magic and how totally not fake it is. Though recently you two have been talking about some guy that contacted Kyle, saying that he wanted to play a GAME with him. You convinced Kyle that the guy was his AUNT and that she's out to kill both of you. You told him to SPY on his mom, and to NOT contact the person that talked to him before. You only did this because you want to talk to "ARCH RYBALT" alone. Although you soon admitted to lying to him after MILO HOWSER contacted you. You know how Kyle is, he wouldn't get any INFO about the GAME, he would just try to get info about what the guy's planning and whether or not the guy's his aunt. But you aren't going to call Kyle incompetent, he's your friend and he's shown to be very intelligent, if not a little paranoid. Update 1: After entering the game Kyle decided to stop with his conspiracies, and he chose to just believe things now. You don't seem to like this very much. In the middle of a recent conversation you decided to declare him the CO-LEADER, although you think you think you might've made a mistake with doing that. In the meantime you and Kyle are trying to figure out what a PRINCE OF LIGHT, Kyle's title, exactly does. Update 2: What happened? Update 3: The relationship between you and Kyle has become noticeably WEAKER, but you're no gonna just BAIL ON HIM. He's your best friend, and you're really trying to make things work. You had a recent conversation with him about you, and your issues. Milo Howser Your friendship with MILO HOWSER isn't really a FRIENDSHIP. It's more of a PARTNERSHIP. You obtain information and resources from him and he does the same with you. You've ceased being afraid of him, lately he's grown on you. You two have recently been working on finding out more on a game called SBURB. All you know of the game as of now is that it's team based. Update 1: Milo recently revoked your leadership privileges. You honestly don't give a shit, but he seems to thinks you do. To be honest you're starting to think that this whole leader idea is CRAP. You're were a HORRIBLE leader too, you were shitty at giving orders, none of your team-mates respected you. If there does have to be a leader then it should be Lila, but according to Libby you're supposed to be the leader. Milo seems to think you should be leader as well. He's stayed at his PARTNER status with you. He's reliable, and if the shit hits the fan you're pretty sure you're gonna team up with Milo if Kyle is dead by then. Lara Armina LARA ARMINA is honestly kinda weird. You think they're tough, but other than that you have nothing else to say about them. *YAWN*, who's next? M.I.A. Lucy Felling No comment Trolls: Varani Mander VARANI MANDER is just the sweetest troll you've met so far. She was so kind, and honestly kind of a dork. But you like that, and she didn't look that bad either. But I think you're gonna fuck it up, because, to be honest, you suck at relationships. Heliux Stirst He is the ONLY troll that talks to you like you're above the age of five and, for that, you thank him. Eribus Moirai You honestly don't know how you feel about ERIBUS MOIRAI. When you talk to him you feel kinda DEPRESSED. He also appears to have a thing for DEAD things. He kinda gave you leadership advice. To put it simply you think this guy is weird. Update 1: Honestly, I'm surprised that he hasn't killed you yet. Lorrea Fenrix LORREA FENRIX was odd to say the least. She declare you as the coordinator of the Human Team, and you think that means you're the leader of the team, for now. She seemed to be a strange mix of really NICE, and really fucking AGGRESSIVE. After a recent conversation, you may or may not have made her a Star Wars nerd. Liskar Keckar LIZZIE is kind of awkward. Most conversations you have with her normally have a lot of pauses. You think she's cute, in a dorky way. Other than that you don't have a whole lot to say about her. Nyarla Aesona Recently there has been a lot of tension between you and NYARLA AESONA. This was caused by you being in denial that Jack had killed anyone. In the back of your mind you know that Nyarla is telling the truth, but you don't want anymore shit put on you. You plan to contact Jack soon, and next time you won't be so forgiving. Ramira Deloom Fuck that bitch, who's next? M.I.A. Lorcan Miviwa Even after she threatened to kill you, you don't really hate her. You fucked with her, uh, quad-thing. You were being an ass, and she's a troll. You promise to never fuck with another...whatever the fuck they're called, again. But am I the only one that thinks she's gonna kill you? Well, I'm just a collection of words recording your thoughts and opinions on people, what do I know? Update 1: FUCK NO! Serios Calier SERIOS CALIER is pretty chill. He seems to have shown an interest in STAR WARS, only because you lied to him of course. He beleives that the JEDI KNIGHTS and SITH are real, and beleives that all of Star Wars really happened. It's honestly kinda sad. SCARLET apparently took control of his mind, and he's already extremely gullible so this guy shouldn't be too much of a threat. He could even become a very close friend. Only TIME will tell. Update 1: Oh, this guy? He's kind of a dick, but at the same time he isn't. Eueueagh... Aaisha Irquen She claims to be the EMPRESS of the trolls, but you honestly don't really care. I mean you might care a little bit. Okay you're freaking out. I mean you were contacted by royalty, that's awesome. Other than her being ROYALTY, she was kind and proper, as royalty should be. She also told you about Jack, and how he killed her and someone else. Other: Jack Detrich You don't know how you feel about JACK DTRICH. You've had a brief conversation with Jack. You trust him, to an extent. Jack also seems to have the most information on SBURB. The information he's given you has made you less hyped to play the game. But you didn't waste your time on nothing, so in your eyes you kinda have to play the game now.This guy is awesome. These FUCKERS just wanna make him look bad. He's your FRIEND, and you'll be DAMNED if you allow these ASSHATS to twist your mind into hating Jack. Fuck this guy. Scarlet ...that...fucking... b i t c h ... Vigil No, no! You're out! Fuck this guy! YOU ARE OUT! Limekid Uh, he gave you some owl statues...so that's...cool? Carl the Plant S E R I O U S L Y F U C K I N G S E R I O U S L Y ! ? ! OOC Contact My OOC chumhandle is perfectlyParanoid Real name - Ryan